Thursday, May 29, 2008

not ticket to lake michigan please

before i say anything else... i do love my parents...but, there a law against sending subliminal messages to your kids while they sleep? not that I wouldn't do anything for the folks that they ask, but is it really necessary to use mind control techniques? apparently sometime early...way too early, this morning, my father stood in my doorway while i was finally sleeping, and flashed my light on and off a number of times while telling me he was going to mow the yard and i needed to get up and sweep and mop the house. now, i didn't hear any of this, but he has since told me that i agreed with an "ok". of course, when i did bound out of bed thinking my mom had fallen and needed help (due to her pounding on something )(rude awakening btw)i found her cheerfully doing the ironing. yes, i said cheerfully. i grumbled, showered, ate breakfast, prolly scratched a couple times, and went about pulling out this enormous system of a vacuum machine before i even realized what i was doing. when i paused and looked stumped, my mother questioned my expression, then giggled... yes, she giggled, and explained what had transpired this early morning. now, i went on to clean the house from top to bottom, including windows, just to be reminded of other chores that needed tinkering with along the way.
i'm finally done and on the computer when mom comes in to ask if i would stick out my tongue. hm. ok. so i oblige, and she promptly sticks out an envelope to me for me to seal it. i do so and she follows with a comment about "we are old, we don't want to die of rat poison" , am i missing something here? is rat poison now a new ingredient in glue? and why would they put it on envelopes?!?!?! stick me in a box and mail me to lake michigan...with no return address. please

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

the "drugstore" is closed

well, today mom came in and said..."turn over all of your pharmacy". i wasn't sure if she was looking for a fix or what?! truth be known, she had just decided that since i wasn't using any medications and didnt need them anymore, to get them out of my room. so...i cleaned out my closet and both drug drawers in my room. guess i wont get to manufacture and sell meth as a second income after all. oh. darn. how ever will i afford the mortgage now?

Friday, May 23, 2008

Ugh...don't tell me THAT dad!!!.....

ok, so in continuing the spirit of rendering aid to my dad was told by his doctor yesterday, to start taking vitamin B, since he didnt score too well on his glucose test. (he wasnt positive for diabetes though) So, this morning while i was cracking my eyelids open after 3 hrs of sleep and trying to get ready to go up to the came in and asked where my vitamin B was. i thought nothing of it and handed the bottle to her. In the kitchen dads studying the bottle with a magnifying glass and says..."she said B12...not complex" I said ok and took the bottle back and then began listening to a war over "its the same thing/ no it's not" between the couple. then dad looks to me and pleads for the "tie breaker" answer that will prove him right... I answered that the complex had both B6 and B12 in it. Mom says , Oh. and looks at me like i am an evil child out to destroy her. then with that look... she glared at dad and told him to go out and buy the one he needed. so he did.
when I got home from the school, dad came in shortly after and began studying his new bottle of B12, with the magnifying glass. He the asked for help as he couldn't see what he was looking for which were instructions.
I read them to him, instructing to take one tablet a day with a meal. then he said, well, i guess i will take it at dinner.
Mom said you know they will wind you up and give you energy...he said, so? i said you do want to sleep at night dont you...then he said , Why?
ok....point being, from there it was insinuated...that he wouldnt mind a little extra energy at night as he grinned and winked at mom! OMG! is there no end?!?!?
mom hid them in the pantry.

dad found them and took one after dinner.

Monday, May 12, 2008

is it bad when..?

ok, so my parents have like an easy 50 years on my age... i know, that sounds like a lot...but untill you know my folks....

anyhow, having been though a "gazillion" medical issues in my past, there isn't too much my parent can come up with that I don't have a remedy, answer or suggestion for, which is of course always followed with, "don't forget to check with one of your doctors first though..."
but i do have to ask at this it bad when you can say you're actually like your parents drug dealer or personal pharmacy? haha, actually, im not kidding... for the last few days, anything my mom needed, all i had to do was go to my room and check my "stash", and sure enough, i had what she needed on hand...

maybe i should change my name....Dr. FeelGud...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

A shroom for tea or a clean carpet....?

hmmmmmm...uhhhhm, gee, which shall I pick?... yea, no brainer! I'd love some tea time! however, no sooner than I finished my moral obligatory chores for the wonderful life sustaining couple that currently give me food, shelter, and clothing, I was rewarded with a trip down memory lane checking many,many,many OLD photos on several CD-RW's to see if the savvy couple had managed to save something... never found it... and then I got to play AC repair tech and got to inform them that the AC on the porch is probably a fewww *years* past due for some freon?? (might be helpful)and now I find out...(trumpets and fanfare...) tomorrow is (daaa, da da da) carpet shampooin day. *sigh* I-am-so-excited... I-just-can't-hide-it. I'm about to lose control and...ok- I'll stop.

anyway...don't know how long the "you-must-sit-here-smiling-while-I-instruct-you" class will be tomorrow, and then how long it will take for the 15+yr old fibers to dry... but should I manage to somehow escape this air-tight bubble, to put fuel in my vehicle and squeegee the dead luv-bug carcasses off the front "before the paint dissolves", I might just skimmy to another side of town for tea. SO, put the water to a boil, make sure your phone works and get all cleaning supplies and chemicals outta my sight...and reach...

anyone know how to the bleach smell outta nose-hairs? (no, the coffee sniff test didn't work)

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

A muppet with a purple crayon!

ok...kickstand....a device used to prop or rest on....for example, a bike can rest it's "spinning wheels" and lean on the "kickstand". I often like to rest my spinning wheels, and wish Icould just whip that proverbial "kickstand" out like a third leg and just lean.... just, stop, whip it out and , pause....for effect. maybe even pose, like a model.

Oh doctor!... or as my groupie calls it, docker. (yes, I have been told I have a "groupie". Ido hope to put her in charge of my fan club when she's old enough to write)I love her ideas on how to fix things....her mother tells me she thinks anything can be fixed with sprinkles or a cookie... I used to think that way, so she's a groupie after my own heart. and hey, if I can get a cookie...with sprinkles!...that's better than a "docker bill" any day. But as I was saying, my doctor, is a really down-to-earth guy. some may call him a quack, but I personally have no complaints. my groupie's mother thinks his diploma was signed in purple crayon...but even she HAS to admit...I've gotten soooo much better lately....hell, I'm not even psycho anymore. (actually...I never really was, the meds made me do it. I swear)

he's given me all kinds of advice and ways I can basically turn my life around and not have to be on all the mind altering (brain stopping)medication I was previously on and live a better, healthier life...which seems better than the path I was on. some of his ideas are really out there, leading some people to ask if he's a Muppet or something...haha. nooooooo, he's just educated in other ( or natural) treatments and not so crazy to jump on the "mass diagnoses train" like so many other doctors have been. which is a breath of fresh air to me. is anyone else SICK of being SICK? hello? I mean, think about it, if some of those doctors actually did something to heal us before they broke our banks, then, technically, they'd run out of patients. but if they let us continue to stay a little sick, then we have to keep coming back to them....right? its all a conspira-tree i tell ya. between the docs that all have to specialize in one little thing here or there and no one knowing a LOT about everything all together as a whole, and the drug companies with their synthetic "miracle cures" (that have side effects leading you to need another miracle to fix...and so on....)you get my point? its like a forest of redwoods out there, I'm no taller than a shroom myself, and I ain't a fan of the bugs either.

so, we were talking last night and she said I ought to start a blog and use it as my "Virtual kickstand" especially since I ramble in my head all night anyway, so I figured, WTF, why not. so here I am, leaning against my kickstand and talking about the Muppet with the doctors degree signed in purple crayon who , incidentally, has made a huge difference in my life, long live the little guy! (besides, I always hear "laughter is the best medicine, and the Muppets always made me laugh)

Just a thought...if "ain't" isn't a word, why is it in the spell check?